Tales from Subterranea: Who's the Boss?

Substack #5

“What can I get ya, boss?”

Men are greeted as “boss" at pizza shops, at deli counters, at shops selling burgers to weed to coats and jackets.

“Boss! How are you today?”

“Boss. How I can help you?”

“You want a coffee with this, boss?”

What about the women?

That’s a different story.

“Young lady.” Demeaning to many women of a certain vintage.

Sometimes it’s “miss,” depending on how you appear to the man addressing you. Or a more formal “ma’am.” 

Or the dreaded mama or mami. I get the term of endearment but I am ordering a tuna sandwich at the counter. With onions. How endearing can this be? In a group of friends where it’s a habit among family members and friends, this is one thing. But from a stranger who’s making my eggs, no.

So I posed the question to the man serving me a pizza slice with mushrooms down on Broome Street.

“You know I’ve been thinking about this,” he said.

With people using different pronouns, a boss or a mami may not fit neatly into any category. What do you say?

A cop interrupted. He arrived in time for slices for him and his partner and to join the conversation. Both men greeted each other as boss.

“So what would you call me?” I asked him.

“Boss,” he said, taking a step back.

The pizza guy thought for a moment.

“Boss,” he said, turning to me. “Will that be cash or credit card?”